How to talk to your people about what you’re feeling

It can be challenging to open up about your true thoughts and feelings with your family, friends or colleagues.

Even so, talking about what you’re feeling, whether it’s good or bad, can help you feel better, give you the support you need and strengthen relationships in the long run.

Here are some tips to help you share your feelings with people around you in a productive and healthy way

Schedule in time

• Be thoughtful about when you have a serious discussion, but don’t get hung up on waiting for the perfect moment.
• Set aside time for the important conversation and mark it in your calendar to help you commit.

Practice what to say

• Try writing down what you want to say ahead of time or saying it out loud in private.
• Walking through what to say in advance can help you get your thoughts in order.
• Writing it out can give you notes to refer to if you get flustered.

Focus on what you know

• State how you feel and what makes you feel that way.
• Avoid blaming and focus your words on your personal experience or situation.
• Try a formula of “I feel …” + “when I …”

Talk about the impact

• Consider speaking about how the emotions you’re feeling affect your everyday life.
• For instance, if you’re feeling lots of frustration, mention how it’s harming your relationships or your ability to focus at work.
• This can help make your feelings understood by the listener.

You may also find it helpful to seek out extra support if you feel like you’re struggling. Free, credible resources are available online to help you take care of your overall mental health.